Wild Mushroom Pizza

Q: Why does Mr. Mushroom get invited to all the best Muldermas parties?
A: Cuz he's such a fun guy!(fungi)

And you can just bet that after all the fun Mr. Mushroom's relative caused in Field Trip, a dish like this will be high on the list of M&S favourites.

Or not.

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Ingredients:

1 medium-size red bell pepper
1 medium-size green bell pepper
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 pound assorted wild mushrooms (such as oyster, crimini, morel and stemmed shiitake), sliced
1 1/2 teaspoons chopped fresh rosemary
1 10-ounce purchased fully baked thin pizza crust

1 cup shredded Fontina cheese
1/2 cup thinly sliced red onion

Preparation

Char bell peppers over gas flame or in broiler until blackened on all sides. Enclose in paper bag; let stand 10 minutes. Peel, seed and thinly slice peppers.

Preheat oven to 450 deg. F. Heat oil in heavy large skillet over medium-high heat. Add mushrooms and rosemary. Cover skillet and cook until mushrooms are just tender, stirring occasionally, about 5 minutes. Uncover and simmer until any juices evaporate. Season with salt and pepper.

Place crust on baking sheet.

Top with cheese, onion, peppers and mushrooms.

Bake pizza until heated through and cheese melts, about 15 minutes.

Serves 4-6

Kung Pao Chicken

Sure, you can pay a small fortune to have some would-be stalker and/or potential assassin bring this right to your door, origami-inspired cardboard carton and all, but why not live a little? Invite your favourite skeptic/partner/love interest over, rent an appropriate video, whip up a wokful of this stuff, and see how the evening progresses.

What have you got to lose, hmm?

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Ingredients:

3/4 lb chicken breast boned and cut into shreds
cornstarch
1 egg white
1 garlic clove, minced
1 piece ginger, minced
1 1/2 t crushed red pepper flakes
1/2 c. skinless peanuts
1/2 c. diced bamboo shoots
1/2 c. snowpeas
1/2 straw or button mushrooms
vegetable oil for frying (NOT BLACK OIL!)
2T brown bean sauce
1T hoisin sauce
1t sugar
2t rice cooking wine or very dry sherry
2T water

Preparation

1) Dust chicken breast with cornstarch and massage in egg white.

2) Mix sauce ingredients.

3) Heat oil in wok and stir-fry peanuts briefly. Remove from pan.

4) Stir-fry chicken about two minutes. Remove from pan.

5) Pour in red pepper, garlic and ginger. Fry until peppers begin to change color.

6) Add peapods, mushrooms, bamboo shoots, chicken and sauce. Stir and cook 1 minute. Add peanuts, toss and serve.

Cold Brew Lemonade Iced Tea

Doesn't exactly seem like brain surgery, does it? I mean it's tea, it's ice, put them together and then, presto, it's iced tea! But the good people at Lipton have found ways to make it even more interesting. No, honestly. Give this a try, but remember BOTTLED WATER ONLY! You never know who has been messing with the taps. . .

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4 cups cool water
2 Lipton Cold Brew Blend Pitcher Size Tea Bags or 6 Lipton Cold
Brew Blend Glass Size Tea Bags
1 can (6 oz.) frozen lemonade concentrate, partially thawed and undiluted

In 2-quart pitcher, pour cool water over tea bags;
brew 5 minutes, dunking tea bags occasionally.
Remove tea bags.
Stir in lemonade concentrate until blended.
Pour into ice-filled glasses and garnish, if desired, with mint.

Taste Tested Recipe
from The Lipton Kitchens

Chocolate Tofu Ice Cream

I bet you didn't know you could make your own delicious, nutritious, and oh-so-appetizing frozen tofu delights in the privacy of your own home, free from public ridicule and grasping hands of partners too lazy to get their own frosted treats. Well now, thanks to the modern miracle of the home ice cream freezer, you can. Make up a big batch of this, see how it tastes, then compare it to the air in Mulder's mouth. Go on; he won't mind. . .

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Blend in a blender, in four equal parts until smooth and creamy;

2lbs. soft tofu
2 c. soya milk
1 c. oil
2 c. sugar
1/2 c. cocoa powder
2 T. vanilla
1/4 t. salt

Freeze in a home, hand operated or electric ice cream maker and serve.

Makes 10 cups. (that should be plenty)

From: Tofu Cookery by Louise Hagler

The XFiles, and all things XF, are the property of Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting, 1013 Productions, and possibly others. Used without permission, without hope of profit, and with much love and respect. It's called *free publicity*.