Everything I Really Needed to Know About Life I Learned By Ignoring My Big Brother's  Example

Oregon - Don't Go There

Abduction: It Isn't Just for Rednecks Anymore
Or
Location, Location, Location

Sense and Sensibility: More Abduction Avoidance Techniques, Some of Which Could Work. Really.

I Have Seen the Enemy, 
and He Could Use A Make-Over
Or
Knowing What You're Up Against
(But Not Like That)