TITLE: Pine-scented
AUTHOR: bcfan 
CONTACT: bcfan@shaw.ca 
NOTES at the end. 
SUMMARY: This story takes place in AU candy cane 
Christmasland. Mulder and Scully get out of the car mid-
Requiem, Mulder never returns to Bellefleur, the Gunmen are 
alive, and all's right with the world. Happy Holidays! 
 
*** 
 
 
"Remember those quiet evenings?" Mulder watched as a 
diapered butt wiggled between his legs before disappearing 
under the sofa. His son - the dustbuster. 
 
"What? Can't hear you, water's running." Scully stepped 
into the room, wiping her hands on a towel. "What?" 
 
"Just sitting and thinking. Back before junior G- man, when 
we could kick back with pizza and a couple of long-necks."  
 
Scully gave him a slow smile, then picked up a box. "Here, 
Mulder. Why don't we reminisce after decorating. I want to 
get it done before our visitors arrive." 
 
Mulder stood and wiped his palms on his jeans. He glanced 
at the bedraggled artificial tree crammed in a corner and 
waved a vague hand in its direction. "How should we set all 
this stuff up anyway?" 
 
A shriek, and Scully dropped the box and bent down to 
carefully shimmy her son out from under the sofa. Will 
patted her face with a dusty hand, wiggled to be set down, 
and started crawling towards the kitchen. 
 
"Lucky we don't have a dog, huh." 
 
"Why's that, Mulder?" 
 
"I remember Samantha eating dog food when she was Will's 
age." 
 
Scully looked shocked. "And you let her?" 
 
"Give a guy a break. I was only four - I thought it was 
funny." 
 
When she raised her eyebrows and shook her head, Mulder 
decided to busy himself with the lights. "These go on 
first, right?" 
 
"Yes. Start at the top. But maybe we should leave a bare 
spot at the bottom - I don't want Will trying to put them 
in his mouth." 
 
Mulder dropped the bundle of lights on the coffee table and 
scratched his chin.  
 
Stared at the tree.  
 
Stared at the ceiling.  
 
The tree. 
 
"What?" 
 
"You know, Scully," he tried to flash her his best winning 
smile, "it would make a lot more sense to hang the tree 
from the ceiling, out of Will's way." 
 
"What?!"  
 
"No, no, listen. I don't mean tying it up from the top. We 
could flip this sucker upside down and attach it from the 
base. Only take a couple of nails. And then Will would be 
perfectly safe." 
 
Scully shook her head no, but a grin was fighting to 
appear. "What about next year? Hang the tree out the 
window?" 
 
Mulder grinned back. "One developmental stage at a time." 
 
Scully measured the tree with a scientist's eyes, grabbed 
the centre, and lifted it slightly off the ground. She bit 
her lip. "Don't think so. For one thing, would the ceiling 
even hold a tree of this weight and mass, particularly when 
it's decorated? For another, holes in the ceiling?" 
 
"We'll be festive pioneers."  
 
She rubbed his arm. "I like the simple things for 
Christmas, Mulder. You, Will, friends and family. A tree 
with the star at the top-" he snorted "-some holiday cheer 
and a present or two. S'okay?"  
 
A tone of mock dismay. "A present, woman? What do you want 
from me?" 
 
"Lucky we invited the Gunmen, then. I'm sure to get a 
present from somebody. Come on, I'll help you string the 
lights." 
 
xXxXxXx 
 
The funny little Charlie Brown Christmas tree looked almost 
lovely if he squinted and turned his head sideways. Lights 
sparkled in the windows and soft music caressed the room. 
It was beginning to look a lot like happiness realized.  
 
Will climbed on Mulder's lap as he sat cross-legged on the 
floor, taping wires to the branches so the baby couldn't 
pull on them. Will drooled on his shirt and grabbed his 
nose. "Gah." 
 
"Careful." Mulder removed Will's hand, blew a raspberry on 
a chubby palm. Will laughed and crawled to a set of wooden 
blocks scattered on the floor.  
 
Mulder reached up and guided Scully down. He circled her 
shoulders with a hug. "Our first family Christmas, Scully. 
Nice." 
 
"It is." She snuggled against him. 
 
"Mmm." He nuzzled Scully's hair. "No time for play with 
junior here. Anything to eat?"  
 
"We've got Christmas cookies." 
 
"We do? Since when?" 
 
"Since mom gave me a containerful and I put them in the 
back of the freezer. Behind the peas." 
 
"No fair," Mulder complained. They relaxed in a quiet 
embrace while idly watching Will chew first on his blocks, 
next on the edge of the coffee table. Poor kid. Teething 
was hitting him hard. 
 
Mulder gave her a final squeeze, then jumped up. "I'll grab 
the teething ring."  
 
Scully nodded. "And I'll make some punch." 
 
"If your punch has punch I'll be a happy man." Scully's 
laugh followed her out of the room.  
 
He bent over Will and lifted him. The baby started to fuss. 
 
"Shhh." Mulder dangled the teething ring in front of him 
and Will grabbed it, tried to stuff the entire thing in his 
mouth. Mulder sat down with Will cradled in his arms, 
softly hummed Jingle Bells while smiling to himself, 
thinking of the real words. //Batman smells, Robin laid an 
egg// 
 
He gradually felt the hot bundle in his arms begin to 
droop, and stood while gently jiggling Will. When Mulder 
was sure the baby was asleep he walked into the darkened 
bedroom and tucked him into his crib. He touched Will's 
cloud of orange-red hair, so soft and fine it reminded him 
of feathers. 
 
He scrubbed his face with his hands and sniffed his shirt. 
Better get cleaned up - senior G-men shouldn't smell of 
baby burp and diaper rash medicine. Changed his t-shirt and 
wandered into the bathroom to wash up. He was taking a leak 
when he heard Scully say something. 
 
"What? Can't hear you, water's running."  
 
Scully stepped into the open doorway and smirked. "Very 
funny, Mulder. The Gunmen are here." 
 
"Will's asleep. For now." 
 
They opened the door to three smiling faces, each holding a 
package. "Mulder and Christmas. Wonders never cease," 
Frohike enthused, slapping Mulder on the back. 
 
"Look, Scully, it's the three weisenheimermen. Come on in, 
guys."  
 
Langly was dwarfed by a lumpy bundle. "Where should I put 
this?" 
 
"Under the tree," Scully said. "It's good to see everyone." 
 
Langly nodded. "Fro wanted to make a grand entrance, but he 
was afraid he'd get stuck in your chimney."  
 
"Too much good living," Frohike agreed, patting his middle. 
 
Byers handed Mulder a bottle of wine in a slim bag. "Here's 
some spirit of the season that I hope you'll enjoy later."  
 
Scully grinned. "Thanks." 
 
They gathered in the front room, sipping punch and nibbling 
on hors d'oeuvres and star-shaped cookies. Mulder reflected 
on traditions, how and why they started. Ten years of 
Christmas cheese steaks with the guys and now this. His 
family and extended family. Life at the moment was very 
good. 
 
A sharp cry. Mulder started to rise but Scully murmured, 
"he's hungry," and closed the bedroom door behind her. 
 
"Guess there's some things even you can't do, Mulder," 
Frohike said. 
 
"Scully leaves me a bottle once in a while when she's out, 
but if she's home Will refuses it." 
 
"Smart baby," Langley intoned from where he lounged on the 
floor. "Pass me some more punch?" 
 
"I'll get it," Byers stood and collected glasses. "You're a 
lucky man, Mulder." 
 
"I know it."  
 
The door opened. Scully was humming as she carried Will 
into the room and he was happily jabbering sounds until he 
spied the Gunmen. Will's eyes widened before turning away 
and tucking his head into Scully's shoulder. 
 
"Hey, little man," Frohike spoke softly. Will peeked at 
him, a string of drool running down his red bib overalls. 
 
"Still teething?" Byers inquired. 
 
"Big time," Mulder answered. Scully sat and Will turned to 
face the group. When Langley waved his fingers Will smiled 
at him with a five tooth grin. "Gah." 
 
Langly smiled back. "You know, dude, that kid looks more 
like Archie Andrews every day." 
 
Frohike scowled indignantly. "At least he's not a Jughead - 
Jughead." 
 
"Boys, boys," Mulder intoned. "No fighting in front of the 
baby." He turned to Will. "You want to chew on some paper? 
Which one is Will's?" Mulder gestured to the small pile of 
presents. 
 
"I got it." Langly picked up the lump. "I drew Will's 
name." He carried the package and held it in front of the 
baby.  
 
Will straightened in Scully's arms and touched the foil-
wrapped package with the tip of one finger. Langly ripped a 
corner and Will reached out and pulled hard, revealing a 
fuzzy brown face and half an antler. Will leaned over and 
chewed on the moose's nose and poked at its cartoon eyes 
while Langly uncovered the rest of the present.  
 
Scully looked puzzled. "A moose head?"  
 
"Not just any moose head," Langly bragged. "A singing moose 
head. Listen." 
 
He reached behind the plaque and flipped on the motion 
sensor. Red, yellow, and green lights wreathed the moose 
head in a twinkling display as a pair of comical fuzzy lips 
sang "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." Will's tiny eyebrows 
rose in amazement, and he waved dimpled hands. 
 
"Nice one, Langly," Mulder clapped him on the back. "It's a 
hit." 
 
"Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas!" the moose intoned, and 
Scully snickered. The entire moose routine started again, 
and Frohike grouched, "We've heard this how many times?" 
 
"Okay, okay," Langly nodded and flicked off the switch. 
Will looked surprised and poked a furry cheek before 
struggling to be let down. He made a beeline for the tree. 
 
"Ladies and gentlemen," Mulder announced, "Baby lottery. 
First present Will sticks in his mouth is the next to be 
opened." 
 
Scully laughed. "Daddy's crazy, Will. But we love him 
anyway." Mulder winked at her.  
 
Will pulled on a ribbon, then chewed on the parcel's edge. 
"We have a winner! And this one's for you, Byers. From me." 
Mulder handed him the gift. 
 
Byers carefully unfolded the wrapping paper. He smiled and 
read the book's title. "'Civil War Curiosities: Strange 
Stories, Oddities, Events, and Coincidences'. Thanks, 
Mulder. This looks like interesting reading." Byers sat 
back and began to page through the volume. 
 
Scully traded a corner of a cookie star for the small box 
Will had stuck in his mouth. She handed it to Frohike with 
two fingers. "Sorry, Frohike. This soggy package is Will's 
present to you." 
 
"Will has good taste. Or at least, he thinks his gift 
tastes good," Frohike joked. He looked up with a pleased 
smile as he unwrapped a red silk bow tie. "Natty." 
 
Mulder jumped in, "Bumpo?"  
 
"No, as in dapper, you schmuck." Frohike pulled a large box 
forward. "For you, Langly." 
 
Langly started laughing the minute he unwrapped the case of 
Moosehead beer. "Yeah, I guess I got carried away with 
Will's moose. But I did find the best present." 
 
Will crawled among the discarded paper, started kneading it 
with his hands, as Mulder handed Scully a gift bag. "Who's 
this from?" she asked. 
 
Byers smile was warm. "From me." 
 
"Thank you, John," Scully exclaimed, as she held the 
delicate porcelain bell in her hand, with "Baby's First 
Christmas" inscribed on the base. She smiled. "It's baby's 
first Christmas, and a Christmas of firsts. This is a 
wonderful memento." She stood and carefully displayed the 
bell on a bookshelf. 
 
Mulder picked up the lone present under the tree. He was 
saving the big one for Christmas Day, and knew Scully had 
done the same. He shook it. It sounded like shuffling 
cards. He smelled it. Nothing. No, there was a slight 
odour. He wrinkled his nose, couldn't quite place it. 
 
"Open the present, Mulder," Scully demanded.  
 
"Impatient, aren't you?" Even Will was staring at him now, 
so he set to, pulling paper from the small package and 
pulling off tape with gusto. Mulder's eyes watered for a 
moment as he looked inside at a bundle of pine tree air 
fresheners and remembered a once-upon-a-time stakeout 
conversation. 
 
He and Scully shared a smile and he held one up. He smelled 
it, then put it in front of Scully's nose for whiff. 
"Memories, Scully?" 
 
"Hey, Mulder," Langly asked. "Scully thinks your car smells 
bad?" 
 
"Nope," Mulder grinned, "but I know something that does 
smell bad - on occasion." He lifted up his son and undid an 
overall strap, then stuck the cardboard tree into the back 
of Will's diaper. "His poop will smell like Christmas, 
Scully. Isn't it romantic?" 
 
Frohike stood. "Poop and romance. Let's go, guys, Mulder's 
finally lost it." 
 
Goodbyes were said and goodwill was spread before Mulder 
shut the door after the departing trio. He held Scully 
close, murmured into her hair, "I haven't lost it, Scully. 
I've found it." 
 
Scully pushed back against Mulder's chest and looked him in 
the eye. Serious. "Me too." 
 
Their simple declaration was the best Christmas gift of 
all.  
 
 
 
*** 
 
NOTES: 
 
This was written for the 2004 emuse Secret Santa fic 
exchange. 
 
Thanks to MaybeAmanda. Her beta reading is a gift for which 
I'm always grateful. Thanks as well to Lucy Marchmont and 
her shopping suggestions; the singing moose head is too 
cool, and Frohike's bow tie is both dapper and natty.