Submitted by X-Lydia
The following recipes have not appeared
in fanfic, they *are* fanfic.
Since the X-Files movie is called "Fight the
Future", these recipes
are in the style of Marinetti's "Futurist
Cookbook" of the '30s, which
was about food as art, and featured recipe names and
combinations of
foods as unusual as any X-File. So, this is food as
fanfic.
Some of these recipes are inspired by
episodes, some by characters,
some by the movie. Enjoy.
Love and Fate
a big glass of iced tea
flavored with root beer schnapps, or root beer Torani
syrup for those
who wish to see the future from behind the wheel.
Piper Maru
(because she *is* the future)
Fresh Hawaiian pineapple chunks to represent the tropics,
crushed ice to
represent the Arctic, spinach juice to represent the
triumph of good
over evil through wholesome cartoon violence, united in
the blender.
Serve with gummi worms and spiders.
The
Conundrum in Baltimore
A slice of beef liver and a filet of
fish, placed one atop the other and grilled together.
(Humbug)
Queso dos
Bichos
melted cheese, flavored with
hallucinatory hot
peppers and feline-attracting anchovies. Serve with
stereotypical
tortilla chips and thick-cut French fries which is what
they actually
eat in Peru.
Donnie
Pasta
Angel-hair pasta with Diablo Sauce,
garnished with sliced almonds (they look so much like
fingernails. . )
Angry
Carrots
Baby carrots slowly simmered in Habanero
sauce. As small
and dangerous as a certain Pomeranian, or his mistress.
They're
Here
Hybrid corn, grilled over an open flame
and drizzled
with honey.
Seraphic
Cake
Slices of angelfood cake with six
different flaming
liqueurs poured on top. Guaranteed to bring on visions.
Schizogeny
Sundaes
Cookie crumbs layered in cups with dark chocolate
pudding. Poke pretzel sticks or "twig" crackers
into the cups.
War of
the Chocophages
Dreyers' ice cream with chocolate bridge-mix
and chocolate sprinkles on top. Do not share this with
the roaches.
Notes
I have not given directions for making
Habanero sauce or
Diablo sauce; I have not given instructions for making
pretzels,
cookies, or chocolate pudding either. We don't want you
to be stuck
in the kitchen cooking, we want you to be watching
X-Files and sharing
these unusual goodies with your friends. Habanero sauce
is made of
Habanero peppers, it can be bought in bottles or
fresh-made at any
Mexican deli. Diablo Sauce, also called Salsa Fra
Diavolo, is a spicy
tomato sauce - recipes for making it from scratch can be
found in any
Italian cookbook, and it can also be bought in jars. The
beef-liver-and-fish thing is adapted slightly from
Marinetti's
"Immortal Trout", it's definitely odd enough
for fans of The Conundrum
and Tooms, and it's delicious.
- - - X-Lydia
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