Submitted by X-Lydia

The following recipes have not appeared in fanfic, they *are* fanfic.
Since the X-Files movie is called "Fight the Future", these recipes
are in the style of Marinetti's "Futurist Cookbook" of the '30s, which
was about food as art, and featured recipe names and combinations of
foods as unusual as any X-File. So, this is food as fanfic.

Some of these recipes are inspired by episodes, some by characters,
some by the movie. Enjoy.

Love and Fate
a big glass of iced tea
flavored with root beer schnapps, or root beer Torani syrup for those
who wish to see the future from behind the wheel.

Piper Maru
(because she *is* the future)
Fresh Hawaiian pineapple chunks to represent the tropics, crushed ice to
represent the Arctic, spinach juice to represent the triumph of good
over evil through wholesome cartoon violence, united in the blender.
Serve with gummi worms and spiders.

The Conundrum in Baltimore
A slice of beef liver and a filet of
fish, placed one atop the other and grilled together. (Humbug)

Queso dos Bichos
melted cheese, flavored with hallucinatory hot
peppers and feline-attracting anchovies. Serve with stereotypical
tortilla chips and thick-cut French fries which is what they actually
eat in Peru.

Donnie Pasta
Angel-hair pasta with Diablo Sauce,
garnished with sliced almonds (they look so much like fingernails. . )

Angry Carrots
Baby carrots slowly simmered in Habanero sauce. As small
and dangerous as a certain Pomeranian, or his mistress.

They're Here
Hybrid corn, grilled over an open flame and drizzled
with honey.

Seraphic Cake
Slices of angelfood cake with six different flaming
liqueurs poured on top. Guaranteed to bring on visions.

Schizogeny Sundaes
Cookie crumbs layered in cups with dark chocolate
pudding. Poke pretzel sticks or "twig" crackers into the cups.

War of the Chocophages
Dreyers' ice cream with chocolate bridge-mix
and chocolate sprinkles on top. Do not share this with the roaches.


I have not given directions for making Habanero sauce or
Diablo sauce; I have not given instructions for making pretzels,
cookies, or chocolate pudding either. We don't want you to be stuck
in the kitchen cooking, we want you to be watching X-Files and sharing
these unusual goodies with your friends. Habanero sauce is made of
Habanero peppers, it can be bought in bottles or fresh-made at any
Mexican deli. Diablo Sauce, also called Salsa Fra Diavolo, is a spicy
tomato sauce - recipes for making it from scratch can be found in any
Italian cookbook, and it can also be bought in jars. The
beef-liver-and-fish thing is adapted slightly from Marinetti's
"Immortal Trout", it's definitely odd enough for fans of The Conundrum
and Tooms, and it's delicious.

- - - X-Lydia

Submit your own favourite fanfic food formula!

MulderClonesRUs ___________ ClonesForYou ___________ First Church of Mulder


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